Usually at the eye doctor, we are in and out in an hour. This time however we waited in the waiting room for 50 minutes. Gavin and I spent some quality time trying on glasses and goofing around as we waited.
When I realized why it seemed like it was taking forever---BECAUSE IT WAS TAKING FOREVER--I went and asked at the desk how much longer it would be. Turns out an assistant took Gavin's chart to call us back, then was distracted with something else and set the chart down to the side. We were unknowingly taken out of the line to see the doctor.
I decided not to tell her what I thought about having waited extra long in the waiting room with my 7 year old. (Counted that as a challenge "service penny" by the way.) The assistant seemed grateful, and I am sure could tell I was a little miffed. (Shawn says I am incredibly transparent with my emotions.)
It did however leave me wondering about anger. At church I have been quoted the scripture about Christ clearing out the temple: "Anger may be justified in some circumstances. The scriptures tell us that Jesus drove the moneychangers from the temple, saying, “My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves” (Matthew 21:13).
Since Christ was/is perfect, I think I can conclude this is an accurate example of justified anger. However with us non-perfect folk I am not sure it ever is.
When I have time to consider my reaction to something incredibly frustrating, my grandfather's caution runs through my head. "Rarely is it worth what it costs to tell someone exactly what you think." I have found this a great rule to live by, and I tell my kids that the number of times I have held my tongue and regretted it is none. The opposite is too many for me to count.
I found this scripture when I was studying about anger on lds.org. For my name’s sake will I defer mine anger, Isa. 48:9. It made me smile. I could use this scripture in my parenting--see the scriptures really do relate to life.
Shawn tells me Buddha has a saying that goes something like "Harboring anger towards another is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Humm...that is something to think about. I like Buddah, he was a deep thinker.
So when is it appropriate to show anger? Is it more toxic to you than to the person you are angry with, as Buddah says? Or perhaps, more to the point, when is anger justified? Do you think there is an occasion that God says "OK, her anger was totally warranted. No sin there."?
It did however leave me wondering about anger. At church I have been quoted the scripture about Christ clearing out the temple: "Anger may be justified in some circumstances. The scriptures tell us that Jesus drove the moneychangers from the temple, saying, “My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves” (Matthew 21:13).Since Christ was/is perfect, I think I can conclude this is an accurate example of justified anger. However with us non-perfect folk I am not sure it ever is.
When I have time to consider my reaction to something incredibly frustrating, my grandfather's caution runs through my head. "Rarely is it worth what it costs to tell someone exactly what you think." I have found this a great rule to live by, and I tell my kids that the number of times I have held my tongue and regretted it is none. The opposite is too many for me to count.
I found this scripture when I was studying about anger on lds.org. For my name’s sake will I defer mine anger, Isa. 48:9. It made me smile. I could use this scripture in my parenting--see the scriptures really do relate to life.
Shawn tells me Buddha has a saying that goes something like "Harboring anger towards another is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Humm...that is something to think about. I like Buddah, he was a deep thinker.
So when is it appropriate to show anger? Is it more toxic to you than to the person you are angry with, as Buddah says? Or perhaps, more to the point, when is anger justified? Do you think there is an occasion that God says "OK, her anger was totally warranted. No sin there."?
4 comments:
I don't know. Every time I lose my temper, I feel as if I've been weak and stupid. I would rather I could just eliminate it from my "emotional repertoire."
That's definitely not to say there should never be consequences. Sometimes, it almost seems to be a moral imperative to say something, when you've been wronged.
A quick anecdote. I was traveling on business with a handful of people once; and one of them was at baggage claim, loudly telling a story that was laced with profanity. An elderly gentleman - probably 120 pounds, soaking wet - approached the story teller, and quietly said, "Young man, my wife is over there. Your language has offended her; and if you are a man, you will apologize to her." Wow. There was no anger there, that I could see. But he couldn't have said anything that inspired more contrition.
Interesting story. In my mind that is the way I see Christ handling something like that. Even though the original emotion might be anger, the reaction is calm, direct and simple.
Thanks for commenting.
I don't think of anger--as we think of it is ever supposed to be used to respond to someone. I think it is O.K. to feel angry. That is a natural emotion. But not to use it against someone.
Thanks for commenting. :)
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