My visiting teaching (VT) partner and I disagree on the appropriate amount of time to schedule a visiting teaching appointment. We have three really great, but really different ladies we visit. One is a 70 year old lady who is very active, works in the temple and likes to talk. We usually schedule her as our last appointment, because it is inevitable we will be there most of an hour if not more. The second lady works 12 hour shifts at the hospital, and has 4 kids all over the age of 12. She works in the YW with me, and I enjoy chatting with her. The third lady has 4 kids, all over the ages of 14, but is somewhat older about 50 years old. She has a great perspective on life, and I usually learn something myself when we visit her.
My partner is in real estate--not really working right now, and has 2 kids, one 7 and one 16 years old--she is about 40 years old. She is really nice, and interesting to talk to. I get the idea that she doesn't get a lot of "girls time" and really enjoys visiting our sisters. I know from having the opportunity to organize visiting teaching routes myself, that rarely is VT simply about the sisters you visit. It is also about connecting the women to each other and giving them a network of people they love and trust to help them through life. So it is equally about the visiting teachers. Thus I feel like my partner's needs should be considered too.
My philosophy with my visiting teachers--who visit me--is to make time to let them come and bring me a lesson, but to have them gone with in 30 minutes or less. Don't get me wrong, I have liked all of my visiting teachers over the years, I just don't have a lot of extra time for chatting--or perhaps simply don't want to spend the time chatting. (It seems like sometimes chatting veers off into gossiping, and I really don't want to go there.) I believe if you are focused on the people you are visiting teaching, you can easily gather information, teach a lesson, and be gone in 20 minutes or less.
So here is the dilemma. I want to schedule the appointments 30 minutes apart with the last one being our most talkative lady. My partner feels that it makes us hurry our conversations, and sometimes makes us 5-10 minutes late to the next appointment. She'd rather have 10 minutes to chat in the car before the next visit than be late. For me I want it done, lovingly, but efficiently. I love each of the sisters we visit, I just don't want to take up their day--or mine with random visiting. (I know this is sounding petty and selfish and you'd think with that realization I would shut up and delete this post. But alas I really want to know what others think so I press on.)
Today we began our visits at 10am, and didn't finish until 12:45pm. That is 2 hours and 45 minutes of visits, split between 3 ladies. It seems like REALLY A LONG TIME.
Am I missing the point? Should I suck it up and simply plan 3 hours to do my visits, once a month? Give me your opinions. I am looking for a reality check here.
8 comments:
Sounds like you and I need to be companions! AMEN sister!!!
I agree with you....shorter is better. I mean, it's hard enough to get out there and get it done, let alone if you know it's going to take 3 hours each time. Maybe you and your companion can alternate the time thing...one month do it her way, and the other month do it yours? I think it's okay to "rush it" a little every other month (in your companion's perspective). Also, from the teachee's perspective, I hate it when I know they are going to be here an hour. I would much rather have them get in, chat, give a message and head out. That being said, I know that there are times that our sisters might need a little extra love and attention, and that's no problem. But hopefully that's the exception and not the rule.
I'm totally with you on this one. You don't need to take forever to have the visits be effective.
But I guess that this is a situation where you have to listen to the spirit. Sometimes someone might need the extra time. But as a general rule, I think that 2 hours and 45 minutes is way too long.
Yes! Now we need to just convince our RS Presidents that we can do it long distance. :)
I agree Becky. Exception...not the rule.
I think you nailed it Lucy. I really want to be a loving effective VT, and in general I do not mind spending extra time when warranted. (Thanks for commenting. I am glad you're back!)
I think you need to go back and read about why visiting teaching, not to mention RS, was organized...also, what Julie Beck has said about the two. I mean really, is it too much to ask that you set aside three hours a month to develop and cultivate eternal friendships with these sisters? I think President Monsoon hit the nail the head today...we waste too much time engaged in things that are of no worth...Visiting Teaching is definitely not one of them.
I can not IMAGINE that either Sister Beck or the official Relief Society program advocates monthly 3 hour visits. In fact, just last month there was an article on lds.org called The Purpose of Visiting Teaching that to me suggested that quality of your visits is much more important than spending a lot of time.
Of course you have to have a balance between meeting your sister's needs and your own - or the program could never work.
Pray about it, do what works for you, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about Visiting Teaching in your own way. :)
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