I always loved, and still do, hearing my parents tell stories about growing up. I like to hear from their perspective of 60+ years of life looking back. It is fun to hear their stories of mischief, hopes, siblings and choices as a teen and child. The older I get the more I understand that we really are a product of the choices --good and bad--we have made over the years. A couple months ago I heard a well know psychiatrist say that most people's lives stem from 10 defining moments, 7 critical choices, and 5 pivotal people. Since then I have been thinking a lot about that. Of course my decision to marry Shawn--in the temple--was one of my critical choices, but what were the other ones?
About a month ago, I was asked to share an experience in young women of something that I had done that helped someone else. I was prepared to share a story of when I had helped a sister in our ward, but as I sat, waiting for my turn, the thought came to me that I needed to share a story from when I was a teenager. As I thought about it more, my mind landed upon the story of Mark Goss. After sharing some of the story with the YW, I wondered if it could be that this incident is one of my defining moments. Perhaps I think it is. With this in mind, I thought I should write it down, at least as near as I can remember it. Not because I want to show what a good thing I did, but more I think to tell the story of how a decision I made changed the person I have become.
I was 17 years old, and I would describe myself as cute, self confident, smart and very capable. There were many other girls who were really beautiful, and who wore the coolest clothes, who always knew the right thing to say, and who were really intelligent--but that wasn't me. My parents had introduced me to many different things in my short lifetime, and I was willing to try any new food, sports game, dance move, change my own car's oil or to speak in front of people. I didn't consider myself really amazing at any of these things, but I was able, willing and had some natural athletic ability which I assume made it possible. Most girls I knew were really good at one thing. They were either really smart, or really good at soccer, and were not willing to be average at anything else. And thus when an opportunity came to let's say join a community softball team, they declined because they didn't want to look stupid. I took it as an opportunity to learn to do something better, and to get to know new people and I was usually very willing to look stupid for a while trying to figure it out. I was also VERY competitive--which has dissipated some what with age--but helped encourage me to step out of my comfort zone and step towards unknown adventures.
My dad had told me stories growing up of going to dances with his friends. He told me of a few experiences where he would get up the courage, waiting song after song, to ask a girl to dance, only to have her tell him NO. This story made a big impression on me. I thought of my father, being turned down, and it made me a little mad that any the girl couldn't take 3 minutes out of her night to dance with him. So I made a decision that when ever a guy got up the courage to ask me to dance, I would always say yes.
(Bare with me I think I have set up enough background to tell the story I have intended to tell.)
I remember the moment well. It was February of 1986. I was standing in a circle chatting with about 5 girls from my Young Women on a Sunday after Sunday school. I was not unpopular in my ward. My dad had been bishop, and I was one of 4 laurels in my ward and I believe I was laurel president at the time. Sunday school had just ended, and we were in the hallway just outside our classroom. All the YW, probably near 25 girls were in the hallway. The young men met on another side of the church building so it was basically a "guy free" zone. I do not remember the topic of conversation, only that I was engrossed enough in it that I did not see what was coming. I was literally "tapped on the shoulder" and as I turned to see who had done it, I expected to see a leader or a girl. Instead I was face to face with Mark.
