Dear Santa

We have started the Christmas Elf this year.  If you don't have an elf, you might not know how it works--I didn't!  The elf has magical powers,each night returning to the north pole to communicate with Santa about who was naughty and nice.  If anyone touches the elf, the magic dies and the Elf cannot return to the North Pole.  (Don't worry Shawn and I have already considered the possibility and we believe through some magical kind of ceremony--possibly Santa returning and restoring the magic it could be fixed.--Cause you know Gavin)  

Gavin's classroom also has a Christmas elf that also goes to the north pole each night.  His teacher said that the kids couldn't send letters through the class elf.  (I imagine 24 letters that needed to be responded to might be a little much for one teacher's elf.)  Of course Gavin set his mind to work and ( the story of the letters unbeknownst to me) decided to send a letter from our elf (Star-ta) to the class elf (Star-sky) while they were at the North Pole.  (He always finds a way to work around the problems.)

We've also been using Star-ta to send messages to Santa.  After a fun letter from Santa the night before, this letter was placed ever so close to Star-ta for delivery last night.

It reads 

"Dear Santa:

I like you  you are my favrit guy and I want you to know no mattar how much I tri to to Be nice it is wrth it Becuse I spred chiristmas for you."

Gavin got 4 #5's in a row this week!  He really is trying to spread Christmas cheer!

Lucy: Our Missionary

Lucy's one week mark!  

The past couple of months have been really fun, listening to and participating in some of the events centering around Lucy and her mission call to Omaha, Nebraska: Winter Quarters.  

I have been saving some pictures of the darling girl to post in honor of her going out.  (I always hesitate to post pictures that one might want to post themselves--hence the reason I haven't posted Alec and Jocelyn's Announcement pictures.)

Here are the pictures that I took of events surrounding Lucy's mission call.

 The Harris Family girls at the temple on the day Lucy took out her endowments

 Grandma Linda and Granddad with Lucy--Temple Endowment Day.

 Thank you Heidi for taking a picture of Lucy and I!

Over Thanksgiving weekend we were able to go to church and hear Lucy give her farewell talk.  She did a really great job.  

The men in the circle for Lucy's special blessing before her farewell talk!

Our family (minus Marissa who had to leave earlier to make the trek back to Logan) at Lucy's farewell. 

(The color is so much better when I use my real camera instead of my cell phone.)

We are so proud of Sister Harris! 

A Glimpse

One of my favorite Christmas Movies is "The Family Man".  (We have an edited copy, from the days when movie editing businesses were allowed to do that.)  One of my favorite lines is when the angel says "this is a glimpse, of what could be". 

Here is a glimpse into Gavin's past three days at school. 

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Singing for "Old People"

When Gavin heard that his class was going to sing at a rest home, he didn't want to go.  As he was informing me of his decision to boycott, I could tell that he was unsure of what "singing to the old people" entailed.

We discussed what a rest home or care center was and how someone might feel if they didn't live close to their family--especially during the holidays.  Since Gavin feels very protective of his Grandma Linda, the added "yeah, like Grandma when she doesn't get to see me", was not surprising.

I built upon the common ground. "You're right. Think about how Grandma loves to see you and all little kids.  She likes talking with them, and hearing how they are doing.  You know what?  Maybe there will be a second grader in Yuma who will go and sing to her.  That would be cool if you could sing to his Grandma who lives in Saint George and he could sing to her there!"

Gavin looked at me quizzically.   I could tell he was wrestling with his desire to make Grandma happy and his dislike of singing to people he doesn't know.  (Let's face it.  The kid mouths words during family home evening songs.)  Finally he relents. "Okay.  I will go sing next week to the old people."

Today was the day of the singing field trip.  As I picked him up from school I asked how it all went.
Gavin says "Well I couldn't breathe, but other than that it was good."

"Really?" I question.  "But you were still able to sing?"

"Yeah.  I just couldn't breathe because of all the sickness."

""Ooookay." I say scanning my brain for a possible connection between not breathing and singing to old people.  Did I say something like that?

Recounting the experience he says "We went inside the bank I said 'Hey!  How's it going?' to every old person I saw, just in case it was The kid's Grandma." He shrugs his shoulders. "Then when my teacher said there was a bunch of old people and to be careful not to grab them or knock them over, I knew that meant I should hold my breath too."

There was a pause while I considered an appropriate response. A bank--not a care center?  Grabbing people?

Gavin took advantage of the lull and tried to fill in the gaps for me.   "We wouldn't want Santa to get sick during the holidays. Right?"

Mom's Birthday Celebration

Friday was Mom's actual birthday, but we celebrated in Denver on Saturday night with Randi and her family too.

We went all out for the 70th birthday festivities.  Kristi made a picture quilt--similar to the ones that mom makes for the grand-kids when they graduate. It was beautifully colored, and the pictures all looked great on it.

Randi and Kevin made-- her favorite-- German chocolate cake, and spent many hours editing a family picture from Lake Powell.

Becky gathered the grand kids, rocks and a pretty glass jar.  She had the grand kids write on one side of their rock ways that Grandma is their "rock"(an experience, memory or attribute), and then had them write their own name on the other side of the rock. (Todd's kids wrote on rocks and sent them with Marissa to Colorado.)

You can see on the screen, left to right
Laura (my cousin), then Randi, Me and Todd.

Lastly, several people in mom's life wrote letters about how she has affected or helped them in their lives.  While I was initially disappointed that more people didn't write a letter, the letters that were written were touching, meaningful and incredible.  Because I was in charge of compiling the letters, I was able to read each one. It was an eye opening experience to see my mom through the eyes of some of the people whom she has touched.  It allowed me to see her, not as my mom, but more as another woman.

After the dinner and the presentation of the gifts, we watched old home movies.  I was struck by how similar of a mom I am.  The way she sat with me as a baby to open my gifts, slid down the sides of rocks on the mountain she was climbing, and created birthday cakes made me think of the mom I am continually trying to be myself.

Thank you mom for your example and for you love for me and my family.

  

Thanksgiving 2012

Pheasant Hunting
the day after Thanksgiving.

Skeet shooting.

 We had a great Thanksgiving weekend.  It was full of wonderful events.  First was of course Thanksgiving at Matt's house and the annual favorite--Turkey Trot.  Alec and Jocelyn joined me in encouraging Gavin to run a minute, and walk 2 minutes for 3.1 miles (5K).  I was amazed how well the kids all did, and I loved teaching Gavin that he could do it.  Marissa even did a couple of one minute piggy-back rides for both Gavin and Mandy!

Becky found a heart potato
...an omen for how fabulous the mashed potatoes 
would prove to be.

Kristi timed dinner beautifully, the Turduckhen was a fun experience--Cajun flavored.  I really liked the duck part, and it was so pretty sliced.  The smoked turkey one of my favorite turkeys I can remember.  As always picking Dad up at the airport was a highlight for the grand kids.

Marissa and Kristi found
this veggie turkey and made it!

Click on the "read more" words below to see more pictures!

Tooth Fairy Forgets, Again

Gavin lost another tooth a couple nights ago.  It was about 9:00 pm when he presented it.  I completely forgot about it after he left for bed. The next morning he came into my room holding the tooth and pronouncing "The Tooth Fairy didn't come last night."

I quickly explained that most likely the tooth fairy had already left on her night run, when he lost his tooth, and thus he was not on her list for exchanges.  

When he awoke the next morning I hear from the other room.  "Again!  Seriously Tooth Fairy.  You've got to fix your system!"

Yeah, she really does....

Seeing Christmas Through New Eyes

Teaching Relief Society every three months is great for my testimony.  It forces me to read, study and ponder gospel principles.  Back in August, when I agreed to teach the lesson in December, I had grand ideas about what kind of "program" I wanted to teach.  But as December neared, and my life was filled with wonderful wedding plans, 70th birthday preparations, and Christmas to do lists, I began to dread the idea of teaching, and spending time studying to do it. (I know--it's kinda cringe worthy to say this stuff out loud.)

However, I have come to realize, that if I am dreading doing it, it most likely means that I would benefit from doing it--especially when it comes to Church service.  And so it was with teaching this month; I was REALLY dreading it.  I determined to do it, and to find a topic that I could really benefit from, hoping that others could as well.  I read all the Christmas devotional talks that I could find, and I searched blog after blog for good ideas, but nothing seemed quite right.  However, on the road to Denver, I read one talk by President Uchtdorf entitled Seeing Christmas Through New Eyes , and it was exactly what I was needing.

The following quote really pulled me in; 

We know what the Christmas season ought to be—we know it should be a time of reflection on the birth of the Savior, a time of celebration and of generosity. But sometimes our focus is so much on the things that annoy and overwhelm us that we can almost hear ourselves say in unison with the Grinch: “Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! . . . But HOW?”

I don't really want to keep Christmas from coming.  I just don't know how to fit all I have to do in the time frame I need to do it in this year.  (And let's be honest, when the mom is stressed out and tired, it makes it hard for the whole family to enjoy the festivities.)  So if I am supposed to cut something out of our traditions--in the vein of Good, Better, Best-- what should it be?  How should I narrow down the focus of Christmas, to eliminate stress, without eliminating something that could be beneficial?  

President Uchtdorf simplifies it for me.  If I study and ponder the following three things, both personally and as a family, I can have the true spirit of Christmas in my home.

1. Rejoice in the Birth of the Savior

2. Ponder his Influence in our Lives Today

3. Look Steadfastly for His Coming

Of course doing this alone, can't change the focus of Christmas entirely.  However if I apply this litmus test to my traditions--does it rejoice in his birth, help me ponder his influence and commit more fully to him, or help me look forward to the second coming--then perhaps it helps me know not only which traditions to keep, but also the attitude to which my traditions should be kept.

I give the example of the daily advent calendars.  We have 4 calendars that are a matter of moving a sled, number or thing from a pocket to visually count down the days until Christmas.  I also have a collection of children's stories we read one a night, two books of traditional one-a-day Christmas stories(Gift of the Magi and the like), Christmas movies on tv, an old family Christmas story book, a service a day calendar, and a scripture tree.  All of these help with the anticipation of Christmas, and bringing the spirit daily.  But if the mom feels continual pressure to keep them up, feels like she is either failing or stressing --keeping the kids up too late, or frustrating her already stressed husband-- to do them then we need to ask the question again.  Is the way we are doing the tradition really accomplishing the intended purpose?  I decided it was not.  So over the past few years we have altered our use of the advent slightly.  We hang up--or put out--the advent calendars, and occasionally read the Christmas stories when we are not at a performance, or a party.  The only advent that gets my daily attention is the scripture tree.  We read a verse or two of a scripture, and talk about the principle of emulating Christ and hang that ornament on the little scripture tree.  For this year, I feel like that passes President Uchtdorf's test.

As was said in my lesson today, each year I think we should asses the traditions of years past.  Consider if they are serving the intended purpose, and if the way that we are performing the tradition is in the spirit of Christ, and celebrating the impact he had on the world, and for me personally.  

With President Uchtdorf's counsel I proceed forward into one of the most stressful, joyous, and wonderful seasons of the year.  I look forward to the incredible adventure of the season, and the eternal marriage of Jocelyn and Alec.  Life is so incredibly full.  I am very grateful to my Heavenly Father for my rich blessings. 

I am always on the lookout for great ideas for Christmas traditions.  Do you have traditions that you love to do that help you and your family feel the true spirit of Christmas?   I'd love to hear them!  Please comment!

Gavin's Vocabulary

(Life is super busy these days with all the wedding and Christmas planning.  Add to that teaching RS on Sunday and work, and there is not enough time in the day.  But I am afraid that I will forget this experience today if I don't write it down really quickly, so here it is.)

If there is one thing to which all people who meet and deal with Gavin can agree, it would be that he has a large vocabulary.

Today at the Ophthalmologist, Gavin and I were filling our wait time reading a book entitled "What you should know about Diagnosing Glaucoma".  It was a board book, like you'd see for a little kid--but not for a little kid--with full color drawings and diagrams.  Of course the medical descriptions of the disease, treatment and condition were vividly described.  Luckily in addition to the book, we had a couple models of an eyeball, and lenses to look at too.  (I figure this is a LOT better alternative than playing with the thousand dollar machines.) When the doctor entered we were discussing the three ways you can diagnose Glaucoma.  He laughed at my mispronunciation of a word, corrected me, and sat down.

Gavin was full of questions.  "Is that the tool that touches your eyeball to measure the elasticity? Which of the three ways do you diagnosis it?"  There is a pause while the doctor considers.  Gavin continues "Probably when people can't see well because of the clouding huh?"

The doctor chuckles  and looks at me "I guess I can thank you for filling his mind with this stuff." He adds a smile to his question. 

"Hey, don't blame me.  You left the book and anatomical model out for him." I reply.

He patiently answers Gavin's questions and then does the eye exam.  At the end he asks Gavin "Do you want to be an eye doctor when you grow up?"

"Nope" Gavin says looking him straight in the eye. "I want to be a scientist." 

"Well, that is a lot of what doctors do when they practice medicine."  The doctor looks at me and then says to Gavin "well I think that is all we need to do.  Remember to wear the eye patch in the evening for at least an hour every day."

"Ok" replies Gavin."I am a nocturnal reader so that is going to be easy."

The doctor smiles and then says "I think I should leave now before the 7 year-old out vocabularizes me." 

So Much to be Thankful For

With the wedding and birthday celebrations on the horizon, I have been sorting through pictures during the past month.   It is soothing to see the consistency of time passing. All the difficulty, or stress of a period of time or difficulty seem to be softened by the lens of the camera and the experiences that follow.  

I take significantly more pictures than ever see the printing paper, so in an effort to share a few more I have compiled a video highlight reel of the year--as seen through the lens of my camera.  And because you can't have a good video without a soundtrack I added my all time favorite Thanksgiving song (I know, that's saying something since I think I know three.)  Josh Groban's Thankful.

In addition to the piano and Josh Groban being an amazing vocalist, I love that the song lyrics not only remind me to be thankful for what I have in my life, but also encourage me to have hope for what can be.  There is so much to be thankful for..

It is wonderful to have a place where I can journal/vent/share my experiences and thoughts.  Thanks for reading my blog. :)  Happy Thanksgiving!

Prayer...Here's My Question

I think I should preface this post, because I can imagine that for someone who doesn't know me, this might seem as though I don't have a testimony of prayer.  

I could probably list a small handful of times in my life where I was certain that Heavenly Father not only existed, but also that he knew me specifically. One of these definitive moments was an answer to a defiant comment I made to my mom. "God is not listening when I pray."  For the events that transpired during the week following my comment, there is no other answer than God knew me, heard me, and loved me.  (I will share that experience more fully another time.)

So it is with that in mind that I bring the focus onto my question.  Shawn has listened to me, ad nauseam, struggle with the following concept.  Basically, I want life to be fair, and I want to know that God is just--not only in the afterlife, but while we are living on the earth.  

My question centers around this scripture(and others like it). 

"And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you."  (3 Nephi 18:20)

I have chosen this scripture because it is in the Book of Mormon, thus mooting the "as far as it is translated correctly" point.  What this scripture says to me is that if you pray with a righteous desire, having faith, God will give it to you.

Allow me the indulgence of citing an example that is often taught in church.  Alma and Mosiah prayed

Starting a Fire

I think most boys are fascinated by fire.  Shawn has a couple stories from when he was a young boy.  One which includes a wood burning tool and a beautiful wood desk.  Another which may or may not have included taking apart "black cats" and reassembling them, elongating fuses, and things going into the air.

Ever since lighting the candles in our jack-o-lanterns this last Halloween, Gavin has been talking about matches, and igniting fires daily.  I have been concerned that he has a proper understanding of the dangers of fires as well as gravity of disobeying our rules about fire safety.

Today he wanted to talk about his ability to start a fire.  While it is still concerning talking to a 7 year old about this subject, I figure it is better to hash out a lot of the initial issues in the brainstorming stages, rather than the experimental stages.

"I want to build a fire." Gavin states.

"Well. Gavin, fires can be..." I begin into the official parent "fires speech", but Gavin interrupts.

"I already know how to start a fire."

"Really?" I say expecting to hear something about the matches we used on Halloween night.  Instead I get this hypothesis.

Gavin begins.  "All you have to do it get a piece of metal, stand by a tree in the forest during a rainstorm.  Wait for lightening, then jump up. When the lighting strikes you have fire."

I am dumbfounded.  Silence ensues while I try to asses parenting triage.  There are just so many things that need addressing here.

"Or" Gavin adds"..we could just bring matches."

When is Kid's Day?

It was the evening of my birthday.  We were in the car waiting for Tiffany to finish at swim practice.  Gavin was patiently discussing our plans to get frozen yogurt.  Usually we vote on the place we are going to go since we have three good yogurt places.

"Mom.  Which place do you want to go?" Gavin asks sweetly.

"Ummm...I don't know.  Maybe Menchies?" I look at him to judge his reaction.

"Ok.  Mom and I both vote Menchies.  But we need to wait for Tiffany so she can vote too." Gavin concludes.

"No Gavin." Shawn replies. "We are not voting tonight.  It is Mom's birthday, she gets to decide."

"Oh yeah" concedes Gavin. "Mom is so lucky.  She gets both mother's day and her birthday. That's two days every year.  I wish kids had a day.  When the parents would respect them and the kids got to decide everything.  We'd get presents and parents would give us all their money."

Without missing a beat Shawn replies "That's Christmas."

(I could not stop laughing for a whole minute!  Thanks for the great laugh guys.)

Halloween Candy Negotiations

Gavin ended up with what he deemed "the mother-load" of all candy this year.  Usually in our home it is a 2-3 day candy free-for-all in the days after Halloween.  However, I was telling my friend the next day that I worried we'd be eating nothing but candy for a week at our house.  (And, I was a little afraid that having it around all the time, I would help with the eating.) She shared an idea of the candy "buy back" that they do every year with their kids.

I love the idea. Gavin loves Legos more than candy.  This is a perfect solution.  Since I have a great attorney, and Gavin is a good negotiator, I thought it better to have Shawn handle the negotiations.  I shared the idea with Shawn, and stepped back to observe the process.

Shawn: Okay Gavin.  Bring your candy in here and put it all on the bed.

Gavin: Okay, but you can only have three. (Easy to be generous when you have a huge bag, and a huge heart to match.)

Shawn: Gavin I was wondering if you'd like me to pay you money for your candy?

Gavin: (A smile creeping across his face) Really? Like actual dollars I can spend?

Shawn: Yes. (Shawn looks at me and we smile at the "actual dollars" comment.  Yes, this kid has us wrapped around his finger.)  I know how much you like to buy Legos, and I was thinking I could buy your candy from you.

Gavin:  I can buy Legos with it?

Shawn: (A smile spreads across Shawn's face) How about I pay you .05 cents for the little ones, and .10 for the big pieces?

Now let me pause and remind you that Gavin has the MOTHER LOAD of all candy.  I estimate that if we purchased his load at .05 cents a piece, we are looking at $75-ish dollars.

Breakfast Pairing

Gavin finds me this morning and asks, "Hey can I have a cookie?"

"For breakfast?" I ask in return. "How about after you eat breakfast you can have a cookie."

"Okay" he responds.

Walking towards the kitchen I hear him say "Now, what goes with cookie?"

Post Election Reflections

I really like Mitt Romney.  I wasn't sure if he could be elected as President, but after he won the debate, a glimmer of hope nestled it's self inside my heart.  And by the time the election rolled around I was confident that if for no other reason, people would vote for him because the last 4 years have, well, sucked.  Our economy isn't better.  Our relations with our Allies are not better.  The job market is not better.  There is not one thing that is better having had Obama as president.  And those that might say health care, should hold their tongue until Obama's healthcare actually comes into effect in the new year.  Alas, Obama wins more than half the vote, and we get to endure another 4 years.

Marissa and I had a short conversation about the election on Wednesday evening. She has been taking a political science class in college, and I was interested to hear what she had gleaned.  Her basic premise concerning politics is that both sides exaggerate and lie about what goes on.  So you never really know what, whomever said or how they voted.  In essence you can't believe anything you hear in the media, and so when it comes to politicians you might as well spin the dial, as listen to the news reports.  (A little cynical, yet having tried to sift through the whole Benghazi deal myself, understandable.)

I tried to explain that even if that were true, it is each of our responsibility to seek the truth and support the candidate that most closely mirrors our basic beliefs and values.  (My thank you to her college Political Science professor can wait for another post, as well as my rant about all the people who grew up in Colorado returning to help vote over there...really? Legalizing marijuana?  Ahh... but I am digressing.)

Which brings us to this morning, and Gavin's unbiased take on the election.

Gavin is sitting at the kitchen counter eating french toast.

"You know what mom?"

"No. What Gav?" I respond half listening as I clean the counters and sort my to-do list in my head.

"Obama killed cookie monster!"

Did I hear that correctly?  "He....who?  What?"

Gavin nods seriously. "Yeah.  That's right.  Cookie monster no longer loves cookies.  Obama made him the veggie monster, and told him he can only love cookies once a day.  So he is dead!"

Shopping List

Found this note on my door.

Jocelyn's "Say Yes To The Dress" with the Runyan Girls

Thanks Aunt Becky for taking the picture!

We met in Provo this past Saturday for a "Say YES to the Dress" event.  

The Audience Awaits!

Thanks to her amazing Aunts,Kristi, Blanca, Randi & Becky we had a wonderful time trying on dresses and spending time together.  

I can't show a picture of her in the amazing dress that she chose, but trust me she looks like the beautiful, radiant, princess that we have always known her to be.  

When Jocelyn put "the dress" on, we all knew it was the one for her.

Jocelyn & Amanda--don't worry
this isn't the dress!

Jocelyn checking in at David's Bridal with
Aunt Blanca & Lexie

Gavin Becomes the Teacher.

Driving the carpool this morning, one of the boys gently gets into the car holding an ocean diorama. I smile and say "That ocean diorama is cool."

I am immediately corrected by the boy.  "It's an ocean habitat."  "Ohhh....a diorama of an ocean habitat.  It makes me want to go to the ocean.  You did a great job."

He looks into my eyes and adds with sincerity "My mom says you need to drive carefully so it doesn't get messed up."  I nod seriously back at him.  "Okay, I will!"

Gavin begins examining it.  "That's the coolest ocean bionome I have ever seen."  The boy is silent.  I can tell he doesn't know what that word means, and Gavin says it so casually that we are all wondering if bionome is a real word.

"A what?" I say.  (Since an incident on the play ground where he described waving his arms in the air, as "using his karate on a boy named Landon"  we've been trying to keep Gavin's descriptions more accurate and less colorful.

"Yeah mom." He says with enthusiasm   "A bionome is a climate or environment.  In Minecraft (the source of all power and knowledge), they have bionome jungles and deserts. 

"Huh.." I say quickly Googleing the word bionome.

"A major regional or global biotic community, such as a grassland or desert, characterized chiefly by the dominant forms of plant life and the prevailing climate."

I stand corrected.  That is a cool bionome.  Thanks for the new word Gavin!

Gavin Pumpkin Soup

Gavin came home from school raving about pumpkin soup.  I made a video of him telling all about how to make it.  (can't figure out how to post it yet!) He told me the ingredients were pumpkin from a can, onion (strange he would admit this since he usually avoids onion), garlic, chicken broth, salt, and heavy whipping cream.  I thought we might be missing a few ingredients, so we looked a couple recipes and modified this one to Gavin's specifications.  Gavin loved it!

Gavin's modified Pumpkin Soup 

Put in crockpot:

5 cups chicken broth, or 2 cans chicken broth and add water to make 5 cups total liquid

3- 15 oz cans of pumpkin puree (or you can cut recipe in thirds and use one can)

1/4 cup brown sugar

Sautee (Brown in skillet)

2-TBSP butter

1- onion diced

1 clove garlic

Blend in a blender the onion, garlic mixture with 1/2 cup water.  Add to crockpot

Add the following spices to crockpot

1/8-1/4 tsp crushed red pepper (makes it hot so be careful)

2 tsp curry powder

1/2 tsp ground coriander

Cook on low 4-6 hours 

Then 30 minutes before serving

Add milk and cream  (Cream tends to make it lumpy if you cook it too long.)

2 cups milk

1/2 cup heavy cream

Taste, and add 1/2 tsp salt if needed.  If too spicy you can add more cream, or milk to lessen the spice.

Girls vs Boys

"Girls are almost as smart as boys, huh, Mom"

I look sideways at him trying to gauge if he is sincere or teasing me.  (He loves to tease me.)

He continues,"back when they didn't let girls go to school, their brains were really tiny. Now that they go to school with the boys their brains are just about the same as boys.  It is pretty smart that I know that, huh?"

"Yes.  I am glad you know that girls can be just as smart as boys.  You know Gavin, when I was growing up, Granddad used to tell me I could do anything that a boy could do.  It helped me to try and learn a lot of things that most girls didn't.  Like fixing my car, and playing basketball."

"Really?" he says surprised.  Granddad's wisdom is second only to Gavin's dad so this is big news.  "But girls can't pee standing up."

Race of Life RS Lesson Outline

At the request of a couple people, I have uploaded the outline of the lesson I taught in Relief Society in September.  It was based on the talk by President Monson-- "The Race of Life" (who knew it would be in the top ten in Google Search.)

I tried to clarify some of the thoughts I had abbreviated for my lesson purposes.  I hope you'll be able to adapt it with some of your personal experiences--I think those are the best lessons.

In my ward, the sisters shared so much of what they have learned in their life that we were unable to finish the entire lesson.  

I hope it is helpful.

 Jennifer's RS Lesson Outline

Here is the link to my earlier post. September Race of Life post

Lost Another Tooth

See the hole on the bottom left?  That is where one inserts the
tooth.  The black Lego is then placed in the hole area
securing the tooth inside the "tooth holder."

Gavin lost another baby tooth today.  When I asked him if he was going to put it under his pillow and trade the tooth fairy for a gold dollar he said "NO!" and took off running into the other room.

A few minutes later he brought in this Lego creation. 

"That's cool Gavin.  I like the handle."  I say expecting a correction of my "handle comment".  (Obviously it is some galactic object that powers the ninja-turbo-minecraft power boosting something or other that moms simply cannot understand.)

Instead he smiles proudly.  "Yep.  It is a tooth holder."

Gavin's Scarecrow...Kinda

Gavin pulls his school papers out if his backpack.

"I made some Halloween decorations at school today" he comments handing them to me.

I look at the strangely put together scarecrow and consider whether he completely missed the instructions, or whether it was his "new design" attaching all the limbs in this way.
 
I look up and he is smirking at me, enjoying my puzzlement. 

"This looks a little bit like a scarecrow, but different." I comment to his delight.

His smirk spreads into a full on smile.  "Yeah, I decided to turn it into a creeper instead.  Cool huh?"

Your Tone!

When the girls were younger, if I were talking sternly to them, they would often reply to my words with "Stop yelling at me."  Of course with my patience and rational personality, my response would usually entail "This is not yelling.  This is my angry voice.  If you want to hear yelling. THIS IS YELLING."  Not among my prettiest parenting moments I admit.  However in my defense, the times that there was actual YELLING in my house were few.  (Usually after I was told I had been yelling and I had not been.)

Jocelyn is particularly in tune with the changes of people's inflection. One time, when she was about 8 years old, were at the grocery store in the cashier line behind a very rushed person.  The lady spoke quickly to the cashier.  Jocelyn turned to me and said "That was rude." We talked in the car about the difference in being hurried, and being rude. Jocelyn pointing out that one could be both.  :)

Jocelyn, I saw this and thought of you!

Even now, Jocelyn notices subtle changes in the way someone says something.  Not in their word choice, but in their inflection and speed. (I hadn't connected before her chosen major Psychology and her skills of emotional detection before now.)  So when I saw this quote, I immediately thought of her.   My first reaction was to laugh, and post it here.  However I must say that I really do think it matters how we say things.

Reception Priorities

Jocelyn and I have been making wedding/reception plans, with the help of so many of our family members (Thank you all!)  Of course every great event has a budget to manage, and the reception is no different.  While Jocelyn and I view most things very similarly it has been interesting what each person we talk to sees as the financial priority.  And which things they could do without completely.

So I pose this question to you.  If you were going to list the financial priorities for the reception/wedding what would they be? (We can rule out actual wedding costs since the Temple charges nothing! I love that the most important thing is completely covered. :))

Flowers (Bouquet, boutonnieres, corsages, bridesmaid flowers)

Photographer  (Bridal, Engagement, Wedding Day pictures sub categories)

Invitations

Venue for reception

Decorations for reception

Reception Food

Wedding Dress/Tux for Groom

Bridal Party Dress/Suits

Wedding Cake

Rings

DJ/Music

For me the wedding dress is probably the most important, because I want her to feel like the princess that she is that day.  The invitations are a close second, because for some people, they are the only part of the wedding they will see.  

Don't be shy, chime in and tell me at least your top two, and one you could live without completely.

When Will We Be There?

Any person who has driven more than 30 minutes in a car with a child will hear the inevitable question, "Are we there yet?"

This past week we went to Yuma; about a 7 hour drive.  After the initial question, I pointed to the clock on the car and told Gavin to look at the clock if he was wondering how much longer it would be until we arrived.

With about an hour left in the journey there is an audible sigh from the back of the car accompanied by this comment:
"ughh....I wish I were the Master of Time."

Reading Missionary Letters to Home

I had a chance this past weekend to go though some old papers at my mom's house while trying to find some pictures for a thing we are doing for my mom and dad's wedding anniversary.  There were letters to my mom from our missionary boys.  Although I am sure I had a chance to read some of Todd's letters while I was at home, with the others I was gone to school and married and didn't get a chance to read them as they were delivered.  Matt wrote letters directly to Shawn and I so I didn't ever read his letters to my mom, although she shared parts of them with us.

It is so different to read these letters to my mom/family as an adult.  As a teen, my life was about me, and how things effected me. Reading the letters then, I suppose I was jaded to see their lives with respect to mine.  Reading the letters as an adult--in retrospect--gave me a opportunity to see the mission experience as a story--more like reading a book. I saw a different perspective of missions and missionaries that I am sure I didn't see as a young adult.  The struggles to stay focused on teaching the gospel, with companions who are a mess, money that is not coming on time, and relationships with girls at home that are in one way distracting and in another encouraging the missionaries to finish the work.  Not even mentioning the physical and spiritual weight of trying to help people with their eternal salvation.  These boys have to have an underlying bravado, a sense of what is right, courage, dedication, and all mixed in with some humility.  Otherwise how could they give two years of their lives to doing what the Lord asks of them? 

Of course these boys, these brothers, are now men.  Raising their families and preparing their boys to serve the missions.  I am proud of them.  So amazed at the choices that they make to be righteous men, fathers and husbands to their wives.  To these men, as to my Shawn, I am grateful for your sacrifice to serve a mission, and for your willingness to do what is right, often at the cost of other things you thought you may have wanted.

Now days we read a missionaries letters to home on their missionary blogs. I love this way of sharing the missionary spirit and sacrifice with those of us at home.  I am sure it is only snippets of their actual letters home, but I love hearing their experiences, seeing them deal with struggles and watching them grow into men.

Thank you to all the families who prepare these young men to go and teach the gospel, and thank you for sharing their incredible experiences with us.

Gavin's Work Contribution...

After a long day putting up Christmas trees at Mom's stores, Gavin volunteered to "rub our feet".(He liked the attention and possibly wanted to trade for pool supervision time.)

He told us to invite our friends and tell them he charges $10 to get in and $3 for a one minute rub.

Randi said she appreciated the foot massage preview but that she probably couldn't afford it.

Gavin added "Don't worry, Aunt Randi, family is free."

Every time we started to laugh he'd yell "Think spa!"

He has mad skills in foot rubbing.  He even names the different techniques.

Up and down the side, strangling egg-head, gentle fingers(option for callous removal is included in this one), strangling up and down, strangling egg head on the side, and finally egg heads on the heel.

Thank you Gavin!

Help Find the Missing?

I was watching TV the other night and the California news station brought up a picture of a missing woman.  They commented that this is the most current photo of her, and asked the viewers to look for her and contact the station if you saw her.  The picture was very low quality, pixelated and blurry. Maybe if you knew her already..."oh yeah that is the lady from my yoga class!"  but there was no way you'd have been able to identify her from that picture if you were strangers.  They related some information about her, what kinds of activities she participated in, what stores she frequented.  A minute or so later the station mentioned that they gained this picture from Facebook.  Ohh...that explains a lot.   

Then it occurs to me that they obtained this picture, and hobby information from her Facebook account   And I start wondering how my profile picture is....humm.   Should make sure it is one that would be helpful in an emergency?  Do I have helpful information for people trying to locate me on my page?  Then it occurs to me that this is really pretty creepy.  Anyone could look up my name, and find out information about me---so easily. And how do I feel about people recognizing me from my online profile?

What do you think?  Is it creepy at all to you?  It honestly has me thinking about shutting down my Facebook account again, and possibly making my blog private?  Who wants people to know so much about you?  (......she typed on her public blog....)

My Life, the Movie

I imagined as a teen, that on judgment day an edited short film of my life would be projected onto a big screen before me.  Key moments in my life, or repetitive ones, would play out for anyone who wanted to take a seat and watch.  In my mind it was set up in courtroom fashion, where I would sit at the table, with my advocate by my side, to be judged, while the spectators sat behind me.  

To say this was a sobering idea to my young mind--that was wrestling to make connections with life's big mysteries--would be inaccurate for the lack of emphasis on the severe dread and worry this brought me.  Perhaps my biggest source of worry was not for my own sins or the consequences to me from those sins; but rather the sequence of events that might occur after my actions, and the effect it might have on others.  

I believed then, as I do now, that if we could clearly see the chain of events from our decisions, we would make correct choices because how we affect others is often a greater deterrent than how our choices effect ourselves.  One simple example.  When a person becomes a parent they often stop doing something that they know is wrong.  Like stopping swearing.  The parent hears his/her child parrot back a swear word in an inappropriate venue (as if there were an appropriate one) and the parent sees how their actions effected their kids, and he/she decides to stop.  Not a bad reason to change, just an observation. I know that I have had those moments myself, I am a better overall person for being a parent.  

So back to my original point.

Gavin's Life Plan

This was so cute I just couldn't help posting it.  I love that he did it at school with no prompting from home.

I am glad to see college is in Gavin's plan.  (He probably is interested in joining his sisters.) No surprise on his choice of vocation, as we all know he loves to experiment with everything.

At some point we will need to address the lack of mentioning a mission.  However maybe we will do that in a year or so when it doesn't seem to Gavin as if everyone is leaving.  (Perhaps the addition of another returned missionary to our family will help too. Go Alec!)

My favorite part of the whole plan however is the mention of Lego land and the area of emphasis for the body of his life work as a scientist.   I know he loves Legos, but doesn't it seem like Sea World might fit better?  :)

Building a Lazer Mania

"Dad.  I want to do something fun this weekend." announces Gavin as he bounces onto Shawn's and my bed..
"Ok, Gavin" responds Shawn "What were you thinking would be fun?"
Considering that Gavin writes about his weekend experiences in his school writing book, we have begun changing what we do each weekend--to give him something else to write besides "I watched TV and played Legos with my Dad."

"I want to build a Laser Mania. That way we don't have to pay to get in and play."
"Hummm." responds Shawn giving it an appropriate amount of consideration. "Well, it might be more expensive to build our own.  What kinds of things do you think we need to build a new Laser Mania?"
"Boards, screws, windows, lasers, a cash register, locks for the doors...." Gavin begins his list.
"That is a lot of stuff to remember" I add. "Maybe you should get a paper and start making a list."
"Good idea!" yells Gavin as he heads towards my office to get a paper and pencil.
A minute or two later he and Shawn have a list they are generating.
"Okay," says Gavin. "I think this is enough.  Now we need to go to Home Depot and get the supplies and get building!"

Sounds Like Life to Me

Gavin brought home two behavior "5"s in a row this past week.  When I sent him out the door on the morning of the third day I thought to myself "wouldn't it be great if he settled into a rhythm with his teacher and he could continually bring home a 5 until we simply didn't need to do that anymore.  (Don't laugh!  It isn't a pipe dream.  It happened last year.....eventually.)  Then as soon as that thought crossed my mind, the antithesis filled my mind.  Yeah, it is probably more likely that he will bring home a low number. Better not set either of us up for a disappointment.

I have been juggling quite a few things recently.  Mom to college students, an eminent engagement, a high school sophomore, and a 7--almost 8 year old, keeps me very busy. You add on to that Relief Society Presidency, wife, helping in the classroom, cleaning, cooking meals, working as a personal assistant and co-running a women's betterment challenge and I consistently have my hands full juggling two-three--four balls in the air. (How do 40 hour a week working moms do it?)

The recent engagement of my Jocelyn and Alec, and now wedding planning, has me dropping an occasional ball or two. I no longer feel like I am being mildly successful in most areas of my life.  It is as though I have just added a large heavy ball for me to toss into my juggling act.  Now there are 7 balls to juggle, but one is significantly heavier than the other and every time it falls into my hands I end up dropping it, or missing the other balls coming around.

Wedding Advice

At life-transitioning moments almost everyone has bits of wisdom they want to impart.  Shawn and I had 3 different receptions (well an open house in Salt Lake, and a reception in Evergreen and in Wyoming.) I remember many people-- that I didn't know-- telling me what they thought was the "key to a good marriage."  "Don't go to bed angry." "Always tell each other everything." "Get separate bank accounts", and the list goes on and on.

I remember braiding Jocelyn's wet hair after her baptism, and listening to Shawn's mom give Jocelyn some advice.  "You're all clean now.  Every bad thing you have ever done is now washed away. You're perfect at this moment.  You have to be careful now not to put stains on your beautiful white dress, by making bad choices."  As I listened, I watched Jocelyn look down at the beautiful white satin dress that her Grandma Linda had made her.  I could see her making the connections between stain and sin in her mind.  I wondered if we were overwhelming her, or if that was the perfect visual for my hand-sanitizing, germophobic daughter to relate to.  (We talked later about the sacrament, how we didn't have to be perfect and how we could correct mistakes that we would make.)

Giving advice to engaged couples, is not only common, but in some ways has become expected. Being on the parenting end, instead of the receiving end of the advice, it is interesting to listen to the advice that people give, and weigh it against my own experience.  It can be very enlightening to listen to their advice, often giving a glimpse into their own relationship.

Alec and Jocelyn captured some sound advice from Gavin. (The video could possibly be a little telling about his relationships.)

Now it is your turn.  What is your best advice to couples getting married? 

Our Jocelyn is Getting Married!

 Jocelyn and Alec have officially set the wedding date for December 29, 2012, in the Saint George Temple.  We are very excited for the two of them!

Alec found a way to ask Jocelyn to marry him in a romantic, surprising way--even though she knew he would be asking her.  (I will allow Jocelyn the privilege of telling that story herself.)

It is fun to have Alec around, and to see how happy the two of them are together.  And Gavin has already started bragging about having a brother.  :)

Calling Home with Attidude

Gavin jumps in the car after school and begins to relate his experiences of the day.  Beginning with "I got a 4 today."  (Ahhhh.. I knew the five from yesterday couldn't last, but I was hoping it would.)

"Why did you get a number cut off today?" I ask as neutrally as I can.

"I told the teacher I wanted to go to the office and call home.  She wouldn't give me the ticket to call you." (He has to show the office the ticket from his teacher because of an incident earlier this week where he told them he had permission and didn't.)

He continues with his story.... "Then I said to myself--not to her!-- 'I wish this year was like first grade and I didn't need a stinkin' ticket to call home.' Then she went over to my number and cut off a freaking number!"

When is it Enough?

This past weekend I replaced my garage door opener (3 hour project), spent 4 hours helping a sister in another ward make posters for her event, ran 12 miles in preparation for my upcoming marathon, took Gavin to his first football practice (and bribed him to stay until the end), invited the three sisters I visit teach to attend the RS broadcast with me (attended it by myself), invited and went with an inactive sister to sacrament meeting (2 hours before attending my own ward), went to ward council and volunteered to personally do something that our over-worked Elders Quorum president didn't want to do, sat through a combined Priesthood/RS lesson talking about how we are not doing enough to strengthen this generation of kids, came home, talked to Tif about personal progress, read for 20 minutes to Gavin, made dinner and cookies for dessert, and still didn't feel like I had done "ENOUGH".  Don't miss understand.  I am not describing this to get a pat on the back, or to have you compare yourself to me or me to you. It is an honest question with which I struggle.  I know that most of you are doing nearly all you can do too. So how do we know when we are succeeding in our goal to be a celestial person?

When the bishop was talking during the combined lesson I thought to myself; how will I know when I have done enough?  I know Shawn would say to me "He is not talking to you directly Jennifer.  He is trying to encourage people do do a little more.  To strive to be better."  Yet all I can hear are the Bishop's words "We are not doing enough." I am pretty sure he didn't add in "Well, everyone but Jennifer isn't doing enough."

With the marathon I know when I have done enough. I have friends that cross the finish line and collapse giving it literally all the physical strength they have.  I have finished several times thinking that I probably could have pushed a little harder or gone a little faster.  However, even if I think I could have gone faster, I know when I cross that line that what I did was sufficient to earn me a medal.  The task is done, the course complete.

My question is simple.  How, in life, do I know when have I done enough?  We all know that all I can do is still not sufficient to get to the Celestial kingdom.  Christ will have to step in and make up the difference.  So how do I know when I can feel satisfied with what I could do?  Is there a line I have to cross?  A percentage to achieve?  How do I know when I am succeeding?  

Gavin's One True Love, Take Two

Gavin and I were walking out of Walgreen's this afternoon.
"Hey Mom" he says in a hushed tone.  "You know the girl we just passed.  She was my one true love.  Now she's my ex-girlfriend." 

"Really?" I say craning my neck wishing I had not been putting away my money when Gavin's ex passed us with her mom. I stop. Then wonder if he'd let me go back in to check her out. I think I have to know who this girl is.

"Mmmmmom.  Don't stop walking." He tells me and we continue walking towards the car.

I am all smiles.  He has kept the lid on this little secret for a while. Shawn and I don't really promote the girlfriend/boyfriend thing at our house.  Not even after our kids turn 16. It is complicates relationships to label boys and girls as exclusive girlfriends/boyfriends, and in high school you are still trying to figure out who you are.  I believe it also pushes them towards wanting to be validated by being a girlfriend/boyfriend, when simply being friends is safer, and more truly more fun during the high school years.

I had no idea that Gavin thinks he has already had a girlfriend. I can't resist a little probing. "What is her name." I ask, trying to sound nonchalant, and cool.

"I don't know." he replies.  When I look at him quizzically he adds, "I forgot her name after we broke up.  It was in preschool and that was a really long time ago." I smile, trying to stifle a full on grin, while I consider how I could possibly get this conversation recorded for posterity.  But he keeps on talking about it and I am enjoying it so much I just can't shut it down.

Note to Self

note to self spell cantry with a o an u

Gavin and I were going over his spelling list. He misspelled the word "country". When I corrected it he said "Note to self..."  As I looked over I saw he was actually writing a note to himself.

Too cute.

Mommy Grade

As a mom, there are some days that simply are not great. However it appears that today I scored well.

Thanks Gavin for the A+!  I love you too!