What Makes a Great Ward?

Please comment. I am wanting to get your take on what a ward should be....EVEN IF YOU DISAGREE.  :)

Found myself in the middle of what seems to be a common conversation for LDS people in Utah.  Whether your ward is a "good ward".  I am sure because of the proximity of the wards, it is easy to compare.  If you love your ward, I don't object to you saying it.  It is when you want to criticize or complain that I begin to feel uneasy.

"We live in the best ward." one of the sisters I visit teach remarks during our last visit.  I inwardly cringe a little because I know from previous conversations that my companion does not feel the same way. We have not an hour ago had a conversation on the topic at our previous sister's home.

"Yes."  I add.  "We do have a great ward.  It isn't perfect by any means.  But I think the people really care about each other and have good intentions."    I won't bore you with the back and forth of this particular conversation, but in summary everyone did not fully agree.

One of the sisters made a good point that our ward has a lot of "go-getters" or leaders.  A fact that can be intimidating to people who are not.  I agree with this.  However, while there are a lot of great leaders, each one of them also has their weaknesses.  And simply couldn't one of those weaknesses be that you aren't good and seeing and including others?  Or that you don't budget your time well? Or that you focus so intently on your calling that you miss inviting others to your home for a casual dinner?

I know, I know your thinking I am letting these people off too easy.  We should all strive to be better and seeing and loving each other.  But shouldn't even the "weak feeling" member also have a role to fill in making a "great ward"?  Allow me to share a personal story.

Parenting

             Parenting

without a

Sense of Humor

is like

being an

accountant

that sucks

at Math 

Honestly, I cannot count the number of times I have handled things poorly as a parent. I get about 30 minutes past the "calamity" I created by the way I reacted to a behavior and realize I have messed up again.  Instead of simply saying "you're grounded for being late." I find myself grilling the child about priorities and lecturing on responsibilities. All the time knowing somewhere in the back of my mind, that studies say the teenager only hears the first sentence.

Of course my lecturing only increases the emotional frustration of all of us and lights the proverbial match to the already flammable situation. After some personal retrospection my only recourse is to humbly apologize to my child (without removing the punishment) and hope I didn't scar them for life.

The good news for my kids is that it happens more infrequently as time goes along. Poor Jocelyn who endured the brunt of the beginner mom--I hope that the benefits of being the older child outweigh the extra pressure she took for the team.

Probably Marissa and Tiffany get the "best" of my parenting, after I have been broken in and before I relax too much. Age seems to mellow my perspective and rigidity on most parenting issues. Where once it was unheard of not to clean up your room every day before bed, now once a week seems to suffice.  In addition, in the past I was mortified by the things my kids might have done--Jocelyn turning off the chapel lights during sacrament meeting.

Now I think, mostly we laugh about what Gavin did and I blog about things that bug or humor me.  I love the quote I put above. It makes sense to me to laugh and enjoy the ride, cause you are on it regardless of whether you decide to smile or not."

13 Things I Miss About My Man

I am sincerely happy that Shawn is off doing something he loves, enjoying the challenge of languages and cultures, and getting a well deserved break.  In honor of the number of days Shawn has been gone on his trip, here are 13 things I love and miss about him--in no particular order. :)

1-  I miss Shawn's warm body sleeping next to mine.  Strangely, I always forget the first couple nights he is on a trip to turn up the thermostat a couple degrees, so I can sleep better--otherwise I am cold.  (If you're thinking that isn't fair to the kids, they are young, they adapt better than I do!)

2- I miss his smile.  I love the way it slowly crawls across his face when he knows I am looking at him.

3- Hearing him say my name.  Before I knew Shawn everyone called me Jenny, so in a way, I became Jennifer when I married him.  Although the norm now is for me to be called Jennifer, it always endears me to hear him say my name.  (And I know when I am with family, or someone from my childhood, when I am called Jenny--which is fun too.)

4- Date night.  A small break from being mom--someone to talk to and share perspective with.

5- Lunch together. Usually once a week we have lunch together.  Sometimes it is at the counter in our kitchen, other times my favorite Thai place.

A Repetitive Question

I was watching a movie when I heard a phrase that got my mind working.  They said a phrase, then "repeated 3 times".  So, here's my question; If I say I am going to hop on one leg--repeated three times--does that mean I hop 4 times total?  Once the original time, and then repeated three more times?  Or does it mean three times total?  What do you think?

Trash Talk

Gavin and Marissa were wrestling on the family room floor.  Marissa had managed to gain the advantage, and was sitting on his chest, holding his arms.

"Oh yeah? " says Rissa, "Maybe I will never let you up.  Then what?"

Gavin quickly responds--knowing timing is everything.
"Well, the only reason you can hold me down is cause you weigh so much!"

Gasp!  Marissa feigns astonishment.  "What? Gavin!"

Gavin realizing he may have offended her quickly explains.

"Wait!  No! I mean the kind of fat that weighs a lot."

Greener Grass